Editrix Abby |
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Sensual BeingSex Blanket Bingo!Usually when I review a sex toy there are batteries (and orifices) involved. So I was pretty excited to write about (and experiment with) Sensual Being’s Sensual Sheet.I received my sheet in a discrete brown box. When I opened it, the actual product packaging was extremely elegant, The blanket comes rolled up in a black satin bag embroidered with the Sensual Being logo and tied with a black satin ribbon. I slid the blanket out and shook it; my design is aptly called Boudoir. One side is a silky black and burgundy paisley patterned and the other is a soft, fuzzy black faux fur. Mmm, yummy! On all four corners there are loops to string the accompanying black satin ribbons, which have D rings for attaching the blanket to your bed. On my first foray I was sleeping on a king sized bed, so there was no way those attachments were gonna work. They’ll just as easily attach to bed posts, but my bed didn’t have attachable posts, either. So onto the floor it went! It was perfectly utilized for lounging and making out and also worked quite well as a sex-proofing protection for a leather couch. But I really wanted to see how well it would stay attached to an actual bed. With a week-later change of venue, I went to work slipping the satin ribbons between mattress and box spring, dead sure that there was no way the blanket would stay put. I was, however, pleasantly surprised! Even with a more-than-moderate amount of sexual scrambling, the blanket didn’t budge. Three days—and nights—later and the thing was still secure. Wow! So what makes this specifically a “sex sheet”? Their press release says it is made with a “waterproof, absorbent core” perfect for absorbing massage oils and body paints or sopping up urine, menstrual blood and other bodily fluids. Well, I wasn’t about to piss on the thing, cause, hey, pissing’s not my thing. And while I have been known to ejaculate on occasion, it isn’t an every time occurrence. But I did dump a cup of water onto it and yes indeedy, it was water repellant. (Shonagh, the creator of the blankets, emailed me to let me know that her supplier had sent water repellant fabric for the sheet’s core and that future runs will be waterproof.) Spooge showed up practically like neon, but that’s to be expected on dark fabrics, I suppose. My body conveniently cooperated to complete the gauntlet of goo by delivering the hormonal deluge as if on cue. Not only did it manage to soak up an impressive (and somewhat distressing) amount of seepage, the black and burgundy paisley camouflaged the stains. The drawback was that it was somewhat difficult to avoid the wet spots! I’m not sure if the other designs would be equally as camouflaging, especially the new White Tigress design. But all of them are machine washable and stain resistant, not to mention that they’re marketed specifically to accommodate all those spills and thrills. In my ongoing efforts to stress test, the sheet soaked up a number of assorted other substances besides bodily fluids and weathered them all quite well. And after a spin in the laundry, the stains were gone and the blanket looked like new. I’d advise that you not wash the satin ribbons and D rings, however, as they became fancy macramé in the drier, strangling my shirts and socks. This delicious complement to your collection of sexual accoutrements can serve numerous purposes in addition to preventing your regular bedding from being stained by your sexual antics. Imagine the message when your mate arrives home to see it spread out. It’d be far less subtle than candlelight. Use it as a picnic blanket and you may wind up with more dessert than meal. Put it onto your bed once a month so you can sleep more soundly, safe in the knowledge that if your feminine protection lets you down, the blanket won’t. And even if no one’s in the mood, it’s a warm and fuzzy reminder of your romance that can be wrapped around your shoulders. At this very moment, as I’m writing this review, it’s keeping my legs warm. I’m traveling through the desert at midnight in a Cadillac convertible with the top down so I can see all the stars between sentences. Cozy warm! And definitely worth the investment! Other models are The Silk Road (gold and chocolate brown), A Victorian Fantasy (rose, moss and cream) and The White Tigress (black and faux white tiger). Each sheet is custom dyed, quilted in Winnipeg, embroidered and hand sewn in Vancouver and discretely shipped. Visit their web site for prices: www.sensual-being.com. [Written July 2007] |
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