|
News
&
Events
Words
Images
Links
Archival Abby
Abby's Bio
|
Carol Queen
Sassy, Savvy Sex Educator
Carol Queen travels the
country imparting wit and wisdom and sharing her vision for a sexually
enlightened America. She and her partner, Robert Lawrence, recently
opened the Center for Sex & Culture, an institution that they hope
will help them realize their vision and serve as “a space for sex
education in all its manifestations.” Carol took a few moments out of
her busy holiday season to have a few words with ErosZine.
ErosZine: Can you give us a brief History of Carol Queen?
Carol Queen: Geez, I've lived so many lives, abbreviating is hard.
Well: I started one of the first gay youth groups in the nation, back
when I was just out of high school. I was a little too bi for many of
my girlfriends' tastes, though, and I moved to San Francisco in the
mid-80s for two main reasons: to be around more bi people (and queer
men!) and to get a degree in sexology. Both goals were realized -- the
latter in 1998, when I got my doctorate. I also began throwing
masturbation-focused
play parties, the Jack-and-Jill-Offs, with a group of people, including
the man who became my partner, Robert; I started doing sex work; and I
began working at Good Vibrations, where I worked in the store and did
staff education. Then my writing work took off; I've written or edited
10 books in the past 10 years. A bibliography is on www.carolqueen.com.
EZ: Wow, you have lived many lives! Tell us about the Good Vibrations
collection of antique vibrators. How did you all wind up amassing the
collection?
CQ: Good Vibrations has been collecting antique vibrators ever since
its original owner, Joani Blank, founded the store. She had several,
and then customers began to bring her more. The whole point of
displaying them was to show people that vibes were nothing new, that
they'd been available for home use since the beginning of the 20th
century. And it was clear by the 1920s that some people used them for
sexual arousal and orgasm, because you can see them used that way in
the blue movies of the time. Now we get them via donation, eBay and
from estate sales and flea markets, and have a couple of hundred at
least.
EZ: As a sex educator, what surprises you the most?
CQ: It surprises me that even now, in 2006, people have such large gaps
in their sexual knowledge. People still believe the damnedest things
about sex and erotic diversity, and it's so irritating to encounter it
when we have so many good people who've done research, written books,
gone out on the road to teach. But the average American doesn't get
much access to this, instead having to contend with lousy sex education
and outdated understanding of sex, response, the whole nine yards.
Like, "I could make my wife come if my penis were bigger." No, my good
fellow, you could most likely make her come if you'd just go down on
her, dammit!
EZ: What is the weirdest fetish/sex story/whatever you’ve ever encountered?
CQ: The most amazing thing I've heard about was a from a group of
nurses who were worried about how to suggest safe sex practices to a
guy whose fetish was used tampons! I was pretty stumped by that too.
Blood is inherently unsafe, at least if you can't figure out whose
blood you're sucking and whether they're HIV-positive or have
hepatitis. But maybe the best and most beautifully weird part of the
story is the idea of an earnest tampon fetishist asking the nurses if
his favorite sex trip is safe!
EZ: Do you think that sex toys have “gone mainstream?”
CQ: Yes, I pretty much do. There are of course still folks who don't
know from toys, but more and more, women especially have seen them
referenced in fashion mags and on "Sex and the City," and they have
access to in-home toy parties if they want to go... not to mention
catalogs and websites and, in a few cities, really comfortable sex
shops like Good Vibrations and others that have been inspired by it.
EZ: You live in the Bay Area, which is the kinkiest city in America, in
my opinion. When you travel, what are other cities like?
CQ: There are terrific (often kinky) people everywhere I go, in red and
blue states alike. But they are not always able to be out and gather a
large community around them; sometimes these communities are pretty
small or pretty hidden. My favorite example of this is the SM dungeon
located just a few blocks from the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City.
Man, those jack Mormons are fun-loving people!
EZ: Which lectures/topics work best on the road? And are there specific cities with specific, um, inclinations?
CQ: Hmm. I think this depends more on who brings me in and organizes
the lectures. When a collage student is coming out as bi, she invites
me to talk about bisexuality... a BDSM organization wants talks about
that, and so forth. Anal play is a pretty popular travel topic... not
enough people out in the hinterlands talking about it, apparently! And
I often get invited just to read my erotic stories, or to perform.
EZ: Do YOU think SF is the kinkiest city?
CQ: Yep! Especially in terms of the size of the community, out-ness,
diversity and so forth. But the very kinkiest scene I've heard of was
conducted in small-town Ohio, so you know, we can never rest on our
laurels!
EZ: What are your Queen of Heaven parties?
CQ: These evolved from the Jack-and-Jill-Offs I mentioned earlier, when
I decided I wanted to do parties for people of all orientations that
included intercourse. Also different from most other parties is that we
do a pagan ritual to bless the party and the people in it. Not everyone
who attends is pagan, but many people say they find the ritual helps
them relax, feel safe and get into it.
EZ: And how could someone throw one of their own?
CQ: Put sheets on the furniture! Seriously, it's a good idea to think
about how many frisky friends you might have. Probably a decent
starting number to aim for is 10 or a dozen people, especially if
you're just doing it in your home. Then think about what you want to
serve for refreshments (I recommend against alcohol), sex supplies and
toys (condoms are a must, and you should decide whether they'll be
required or optional... I recommend required), and ambiance (porn, sexy
music on the stereo). A simple icebreaker for these parties is getting
each guest to say what they hope to explore at the party; that way,
it's more likely people who want to do similar scenes will find each
other and do them!
EZ: Tell us about the Center for Sex & Culture. What are your goals with/for it?
CQ: CSC is a space for sex education in all its manifestations. We have
a library and archive, plus we host classes, workshops, cultural events
like art shows and performances, all sorts of things. Some people learn
well from lectures... others from doing things. So we have a wide range
of events in an attempt to appeal very broadly. A person can have their
mind really opened in a sex-positive direction by
attending something sexual, but safe -- and you know I said about that
I'm shocked at how bad sex ed is in America. We're just trying to do
our part to change that! Ultimately we'll have online things too, plus
probably a speakers' and teachers' bureau to represent us outside the
SF Bay Area.
EZ: And what inspired you to create such a place?
CQ: Betty Dodson wanted us to make a space she'd want to visit in San Francisco to
do her workshops. "Kids," she said to me and Robert, "you should open a
place!" And who ever says no to Betty? She is the Mother of
Masturbation!
EZ: What kind of events do you hold there?
CQ: Salons for parents and for sex ed students; book readings and talks
by authors (recently we held the country's first book launch for
"Everything You Know About Sex Is wrong," Russ Kick's new book with
DisInformation); soirees, like the one you, Abby, held, including
various fun, frisky performances; art events (the greatest one was put
together by Annie Sprinkle and involved about 20 artists actually doing
erotic art while people milled around and watched them work; erotic
photography workshops (we're organizing a series so people can work
with various photographers). Besides Annie Sprinkle we've had Nina
Hartley, Candye Kane, Shar Rednour, queer theatre artist S. Bear
Bergman, Scarlot Harlot and other terrific notables. Coming up in
February we've got art by Charles Gatewood and a very
rare visit from Xaviera Hollander!
EZ: What are your future plans for the Center?
CQ: More and better! We want to get more books catalogued into the
library (now lots of our holdings are still in boxes), do more
education, do more web-based stuff, find a larger space. We are always
looking for support, from volunteers to, of course, money! People can
donate on our website via PayPal or send us a check to 2215-R Market St #455, SF CA 94114; we'll send a deduction letter, since we're a non-profit.
EZ: Would you ever open satellite locations in other cities?
CQ: That's a really exciting idea, and yes, if we could figure out the
logistics, I'd love to see CSC spawn. It creates a community center,
something not everyone currently has access to, as well as a place to
learn and develop one's ideas about sex and erotic community and
possibility.
EZ: What are your hopes and dreams for a more sexually aware and satisfied America in 2006?
CQ: I vacillate between being a hopeful, optimistic Pollyanna, trying
to see possibility everywhere, and a fuckin' sex grinch, sure that the
cultural struggles over sex and morality are sending us to hell in a
handbasket... and that hell is full of Pat Robertsons and Jerry
Falwells. So let me just put on my Pollyanna hat to overcome that
tendency. OK, here goes: The US will come to its senses and realize sex
ed for youth staves off lots of trauma and just plain BAD SEX, and
embraces the idea that good sex is everyone's birthright. Everybody can
marry or not, have multiple partners or not, be any sexual orientation
that suits them, and no one's panties get in a bunch. Actually, when
you get down to it, I'd make the whole world a
lot more like San Francisco.
EZ: Thank you, Carol!
CQ: Thank you! This was fun!
[Written Jan. 2006]
|