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Burning Man 2006

It was only two months in the desert...

Ah, Burning Man, that mythical mirage of a city that springs up out of a prehistoric lake bed one week a year, when it seems as though a third of San Francisco empties out into Nevada's Black Rock Desert, when it's said you can't get any computer code written and when freaks and freedom seekers of every stripe converge and conspire to create their temporary Utopian vision.

This was my fifth year and since last year's was my best burn ever ever, I wanted to do something that would make this year, if not better, then at least different. So I volunteered for DPW, Burning Man's own Department of Public Works. I went out to the playa on August 14 and I'm still here, September 25, assisting in "playa restoration" with about 40 other workers, cleaning up after the near 40,000 participants. We've been doing "line sweeps," which is what it sounds like: 30 of us line up and walk like zombies, picking up ever stray wood chip, fragment of broken glass, bobby pin and blinkie battery. The entire experience has been -- and continues to be -- utterly transformational, in a way attending the festival itself often is for people. At this point I can't even describe it... that may come at a later date. So I'll just give you a wrap-up of the event in general. Or at least what little of it I saw.

This year's theme was Hope and Fear: The Future, and the centerpiece of the city, the "Man," was mounted on an Art Deco base equipped to move the Man up or down, depending on how the city's population was voting, for hope or for fear. I have no idea if the mechanism ever worked because, for whatever reason, I rarely even glanced at the Man. My focus was on the people, as it usually is. But back to the art, since it IS an arts festival. The Flower, last year's gorgeous creation wrapped around an enormous cherry picker, was joined by a Venus Flytrap, I suppose to represent Fear, if indeed the flower represented Hope. The two toured the open playa, bending to the earth and reaching to the stars.

The Temple of Hope was a team effort between the usual Temple crew and volunteers from Burners Without Borders, a few dozen burners who'd been in Biloxi and Pearlington, Mississippi helping to rebuild after Hurricane Katrina. Instead of a single intricate, looming structure, there were smaller, scattered spire-like pieces. It offered a haven for contemplation, mourning and remembrance. The most visible piece of art was definitely The Belgian Waffle, or, more accurately, Message From the Future. People just started calling it The Waffle, much to the consternation of the creators. And we decided that the punch line to every joke during the event would be "40 Belgiums!" A team of Belgians arrived prior to the beginning of the event equipped with their own heavy machinery, 90 miles of wood and everything else they'd need to be "radically self sufficient." The end result was a monstrous piece of free-form construction, what appeared to be controlled chaos, that became a thumping disco every night. The one time I ventured into it I found it a bit overwhelming. It was too close to being in Manhattan for me but the participants enjoyed it.

Another huge piece of art was The Conexus Cathedral. I actually saw the scale model in the Burning Man offices way back in April, so I knew what to expect: imagine Notre Dame without walls. It was a skeletal structure that was not only imposing but stunning. I attended a wedding there one afternoon and couldn't think of a more sacred space to exchange vows.

Karen Cuosolito and Dan Das Mann outdid themselves by following last year's Mother and Child, who walked in flaming footsteps, with three figures bowing in the direction of the rising sun. The pieces were placed in Center Camp, the city's main gathering place. And did I mention that they are about 100 feet high and made of cast-off car parts and other metal scraps? I also enjoyed The Big Round Cubatron, a rainbow blinkie installation, and the Field of Sunflower Robots. The Flaming Lotus Girls did another amazing job of creating a gathering place with their Serpent Mother, a spiraling metal monster with an articulated head. There was a LOT of fire involved in this piece and standing beneath its gaping jaws, watching as the razor sharp practically grazed peoples' dreadlocks, was awe inspiring.

The high point of the week for me was the DPW Parade. I'd never even really noticed the DPW at all in previous years, frankly, apart from their deconstructed cars and surly tendencies, and had never witnessed their parade, either. It's a piratic spectacle of heavy machinery and pillaging drunkards. Participating was, of course, far preferable to just watching it roll by, so I'm thrilled to say that my first experience of the ridiculous rowdiness was being on one of the vehicles. The Mad Max-like welded "art cars" and other contraptions were led by an incredible steam engine train created by Kinetic Steam Works and we snaked from the DPW Depot through the streets of the city. It was theatrical debauchery at its absolute finest.

I had some serious fun at a few of the theme camps, too. There was a birthday party (aptly called Fuck Yer Birthday) at Jub Jub. They also had the sexiest burn barrel -- or burn sculpture: a four-sided piece with women's figures in garters, stockings and such, by Bean, a fellow DPWer. I hung out in something I thought was called the Flame Garden, run, I thought, by the Thunderdome people, the Death Guild. Someone was doing a documentary on them for Spike TV and we were dancing to silly '80s tunes, which was VERY non-Death Guild. From there I meandered over to the Black Sabbath Pancake Breakfast, where I proceeded to get drunk, pass out and piss myself. AND get Sharpied. I'm sure the photos resulting from that afternoon will surface sometime soon, so stay tuned.

Anyway, enough about my alcoholic antics. I'm sure you're most interested to hear about the sex at the event. Hmm, I suppose there's no need to say that when you get almost 40,000 people together in an atmosphere of unbridled human exuberance, there's gonna be plenty of excitement. And with camps like Temple of Atonement (a BDSM camp) and Jiffy Lube (a gay male sex-themed camp) you know people are gettin' busy. But at this point it's become cliché to talk about Burning Man sex. It's been parodied on Malcolm in the Middle, ridiculed online and mentioned in the online Vows section of The New York Times. Okay, that was romance rather than randiness, but you get the picture. It's just totally mainstream now, man. I will say that the pheremone soup I've been swimming in for the past month has had all sorts of strange effects on my psyche and my sex drive. But again, that's a separate story!

I hate to sound like I've had too much Kool-Aid but in actuality I've pretty much sucked down an entire Igloo's worth, so I'm not just an enthusiastic particpant, I'm a full-on missionary -- literally, since I'm also a real live Burning Man Regional Representative, a sort of ambassador for the organization that puts the whole operation together. Which makes it impossible for me to have a properly unbiased journalistic perspective on the event. But if what you're looking for is an opposing viewpoint, you can read the hilarious rant by Patrick Mulroy, HYPERLINK "http://blog.hisnameistimmy.com/?p=12"Achtung Hippie!: Reflections on the Burning Man Scam. He attended the event this year and didn't enjoy one second of it, a feat that could only have been accomplished by the world's biggest curmudgeon -- or perhaps the world's most un-layable guy. It's worth reading, seriously, and probably will describe the whole shebang much more accurately than I'm able to.

This was supposed to be a review of the event and I'm not too sure I've given you much of a complete picture. But it was my experience of it. Or at least a slice!

[Written Sept. 2006]