Romance-Inspiring Tasty TreatsDISCLAIMER:
This article was written in January 2005 as a Valentine's Day feature.
I have updated the links to be as current as possible [January 29,
2009] but they may change at any moment. So just Google the products to
find them if the links don't work!
The connection between food and passion has been made for a millennia.
Bon bons and other traditional Valentine’s Day candies wrapped in red
ribbons or heart-shaped boxes stir the souls of the romantically
inclined. In keeping with the heart/stomach (taste bud?) connection,
we’ve witnessed edible underwear and penis-shaped lollipops. But that’s
all so very 20th century. Here are a few more modern ways to explore
the eroticism of taste:
Edible undies updated for today’s fashion conscious kinkster! Your body
heat will melt these Belgian chocolate “briefs,” giving the old “melts
in your mouth, not in your hand” slogan a delicious new twist.
Dunkin Dickies Willie Biscuits
Ah, those Brits and their wacky sense of humor. Imagine dunking a
dick-shaped biscuit into your tea! Okay, so they aren’t that romantic,
but we couldn’t resist listing them. Because if you decide to pop the
question – or the proverbial cherry – at tea time, these hilarious
cookies would make the moment even more perfect.
Yeah, you can tie on a pair of Edible Underwear that’s really just
carefully cut out patches of cheap fruit roll and have them get all
gummed up in, oh, never mind. If you want that special someone to spend
some QUALITY time, uh, down there, how about a colorfully pastel Candy
G-String? It’s delightful triangle crafted of the same confection as
those candy necklaces, only way more fun to eat off!
Lots Oh Lixxx
There have been ice dildos in porn flicks and suggestive ice cube molds
for bachelorette bashes, but until this Brooklyn-based company came out
with their obscene ice cream, no one had every produced such a
delicious lickable sex food. Sure you can find all kinds of lollipops,
but ice cream? C’mon, it’s a natural! Lots Oh Lixxx features both
vanilla and chocolate treats in penis- and pussy-molded products and
you’ll feel like a porn star sucking on these frozen genitalia repros.
Plus, they’re really tasty!
Always a romantic gift for Valentine’s Day, what woman doesn’t enjoy a
delicious piece of chocolate? Well, if you’d like make it a mutually
pleasurable experience and enjoy the woman enjoying the chocolate,
perhaps you can give her a couple nuggets of Playful Chocolate.
Chemically “designed” to increase a woman’s libido with a blend of 100%
natural premium Colombian chocolate and mysterious herbs and
botanicals, two tiny pieces of this tasty treat will encourage romance
in more way than one!
Kama Sutra Honey Dust
This body dust is currently all the rage at in-home sex toy parties,
mostly because it’s the least, um, controversial – read threatening –
purchase. Which means your husband won’t be as offended by a jar of
body dust as he might be by a Sean Michaels’ Jumbo Dildo. A few
sprinkles of this subtle honey dust will encourage your partner to give
you a few exploratory licks. And unlike flavored body paints, it’s
relatively easy to actually lick off. A light dusting offers both a
silky sparkle, an aromatic fragrance and a tantalizing taste. Their
sensual flavors include Raspberry Kiss, Strawberries & Champagne,
Tangerine and the original, Sweet Honeysuckle. Beautifully packaged in
a satin pouch and 8-ounce tin, a handmade feather duster is provided
for easy application.
Kama Sutra Lovers’ Paintbox
If you’d rather combine the edible lover and chocolate craving in one
passionate experience, you’re sure to enjoy Karma Sutra’s Lovers’
Paintbox. With 2 ounces each of milk, dark and white chocolate body
paints, you can create a masterpiece on your partner and enjoy licking
it off. The package comes complete with a paintbrush so you’ll be ready
to get to work on your lover’s “canvas” as soon as you open the box!
Lick Me Skin Spray
If what you’d really like to eat – or HAVE eaten! – is you or your
partner’s body parts, and we don’t mean in a cannibalistic way, there
are plenty of products to enhance the flavor. Or change the flavor. We
don’t mean to say human beings don’t taste just fine as they are, but
to enhance the romance, a few spritzes of Like Me Skin Spray will make
your partner’s parts taste just like candy. It may also make you both
sticky sweet. Which will either be romantic or uncomfortable, in which
case you can shower together. Now that’s romance!
Titaroni Booby Pasta and Pecker Pasta
We have yet to see anyone boil up a pot of this pornographic pasta, but
a box jumbled into your bag of groceries is sure to give anyone a good
Gummy Boobs and Penis Gummies
When we think of gnawing on a dick or a nipple, chewy candy isn’t what
immediately pops into mind, but with the Gummi Worms and Gummi
Cinderella Bracelets that kids get to enjoy, why shouldn’t we get some
silly adult-specific yummy gummies?
Tit Tax and Dick Tax
The concept is good even if they aren’t tiny breath mints; they’re just
dick- and tit-shaped sweet tarts. But the shake-one-out plastic
dispenser adds to the bachelor party humor.
Sweet Pussy Suckers
Sweet Titty Suckers
Little Devil Cock Suckers
It’s too easy. X-rated lollipops. Who doesn’t like to suck?
[Written Jan. 2005]