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Scar 13
Making her Mark
Scar 13
is a fresh young face on the goth/fetish scene and her personal web
site has just been unveiled. Elegantly trashy and innocently evil, this
stunner’s steely blue-eyed stare is thrillingly enthralling. She has a
passion for revealing fashions, kinky bisexual antics and being bitten.
ErosZine delved deeply into her slightly disturbed psyche during a
long, illuminating conversation and we share it here with you. We think
this sexy goth/fetish syren will make an indelible impression on you.
ErosZine: Tell us about your formative years. Where did you grow up? What were your early influences?
Scar 13: I was born in Glendale but moved a lot, especially during the
first 15 years of my life. I probably spent most of my time in Korea
Town and the valley—as painful as that is to admit! Luckily both my
parents worked in the entertainment industry, so we kids found
ourselves in Hollywood a lot of the time. This is where I first became
fascinated with alternative cultures. It wasn't really any one that
caught my eye at first. Being as young as I was I don't think I really
differentiated between them. To me, I just saw them as being separate
from the rest of society, which seemed to melt together and become
entirely faceless.
EZ: Your scars are from "cutting," right? That topic has gotten a lot
of mainstream press and "coverage" lately on TV shows, Oprah. If you
don't mind, tell us a bit about how it was for you.
S13: I am always being asked about my scars. They evoke very strong
reactions from people, sometimes positive and sometimes negative. I
actually had a woman come up to me and cry for me one time; she told me
I should love myself. On the other end of the spectrum, I received an
e-mail from a stranger via the internet the other day that said, "I
always hated my scars until I saw how beautiful yours are Thank you."
So despite their history, I’m glad to have them. I think they are
largely responsible for the life I have today. Now, let me tell you
where they are from :-)
The first time I cut myself I was 13. I think it was with a steak
knife. It was of course not very deep. The thought of dying was unreal
to me, it wasn't my goal. I just wanted it to hurt.
Birds of a feather flock together, and soon afterwards I met a boy who
cut himself, and hung out with his group of friends, who were kind of
the outcasts in our Junior High. However, this phase was short lived.
When I met some people who were into the whole hippie thing, I became
more concerned about peace and love for a while there than my teenage
angst.
Fast forward a few years and again I found myself drawn to cutting my
arms. This time it was a much more intense experience, however, and
this is when I first started actually scarring myself. I started dating
a boy who had been heavily into it for a while at that time, and he
showed me how to cut deep enough to make it last. I traded in my wood
carving blades for straight razors, and over the next two-and-a-half
years managed to mark up my arms, thighs and stomach. It was a really
strange time of my life, and it is difficult now for me to imagine
where my head was for me to be able to do that to myself. Strangely, I
think the most satisfying part of the experience was not the pain I
inflicted on myself but the way that it distracted me from my
depression.
EZ: You say that those scars are part of who you are and are "a
reflection of the past." So I'm assuming you aren't interested in
further ritualistic scarification.
S13: The scars I have now are definitely a reflection of my past. I
think I’d really be taking a step backwards in life if I were to enter
the head-space again that’s required in order for me to do that to
myself. However, I’m really really attached to them! They are already
fading. I have been considering getting more professionally done, using
the method where they add ink into them so that the color remains
bright. If I were to do this though I would do it in less of a sporadic
pattern; I would want something more uniform and intentional looking.
EZ: You enjoy BDSM play. You mention on your web site that your first
bondage experience was with Doc Martin laces. Recap that story for us.
S13: Ha ha! That is one of my favorite stories, I don't mind telling it
again! My high school boyfriend and I had ditched school one day and
snuck back to his house. Being as it as that we had hours to kill we
got inventive! He had experimented with bondage and S+M and so of
course I wanted to try it out too :-) Sadly, all he had in his room was
a mattress on the floor, so there was nothing to tie me too. We snuck
into his older sister’s room and he removed the laces from his 20 hole
Docs and tied my wrists to the frame of her canopy bed! I was just
talking to him the other day and he reminded me that I actually got so
into it that I broke his laces!
EZ: What sort of play do you currently enjoy?
S13: My favorite play is one-on-one. Although I enjoy doing SM
performances, it just seems so much naughtier when you are doing it
entirely for fun! Or when you’re doing it in a room full of people who
are participating, that’s fun too. I love being teased and tormented.
That’s my favorite kind of foreplay. I love when someone runs their
hands all over me and bites me and chokes me, but won’t let me touch
them (at first). It is so frustrating but in a really fun way. I love
people who are dominant in bed, I love when people tell me what to do,
I love spankings in the heat of the moment—somehow they don't seem to
hurt so much then... I love hot wax.... I looooove being flogged. That
is definitely at the top of my list! At first it stings your flesh but
then as the soft strands of leather slide back down over your body it’s
almost as if you’re being caressed. It gives me the chills every time.
EZ: Is there anything you haven't tried that you'd like to?
S13: As far as SM goes, the only thing I am still interested in trying
that I have not yet experienced is play piercing. I have a design I
want to have pierced into my back, but the one time I had the
opportunity to do it I wimped out at the last minute. It was in a room
full of people, and I thought it may be better that my first experience
be in a more private setting.
EZ: You say you like to be bitten. Tell us about that.
S13: Yum! Biting is the best. There’s more than one way that I like it
though. One is when it is really soft, and I can barely feel the teeth
press into my flesh. I especially like it on my back that way, it sends
this electricity all the way down my spine. The other way I like it is
when someone bites hard into my neck and then lets up their grip. At
first the sensation of pain makes all the muscles in my body tense up,
but as they soften their grip it’s as if every nerve in my body is
suddenly awake.
EZ: Any interest in vampirism? Or is that too cliché?
S13: I think the vampirism is visually very sexy. I am totally into the
long nails, long hair, white skin, fangs. As long as it’s done well, of
course! But as far as actually believing in it? Nope. Not for a second.
I don't understand how people can try and trick themselves into
thinking they are vampires. I think that if I ever met anyone who could
actually prove to me that they were eternal, I might change my opinion,
but as far as I can tell all the vampires just keep getting older, and
eating regular food like the rest of us.
EZ: You've modeled all the hottest fashions. What style do you prefer?
S13: When I get dressed to go out I always have comfort in mind.
Although I’d never leave my 8" stilettos at home, I like my clothes to
be stretchy and soft! I find myself buying stretch vinyl, fishnet and
gloves with the fingers cut out. I tend to dress my outfits up with a
lot of accessories like spiked collars, hints of rubber, ribbons,
belts, rings... and always extravagant make-up. Another requirement is
that it has to be trashy. I like to wear skirts that ride up and show
my ass or waist cinchers with no top on.
EZ: You express yourself through fashion and art. What are your current favorite media?
S13: I haven't actually painted in a while. In my life, though, that
has been the form of art I have been most attracted to. Currently, I’m
getting ready to start renovating two mannequins that I purchased. I’m
very excited to finally get to do it, because they’ve been sitting in
my house for a while and I’ve been waiting for the right inspiration to
come along.
EZ: Tell us about the set building.... how you create your own fantasies.
S13: I started building sets about a year and a half ago and have found
it to be a very rewarding form of art. I start with just a plain space,
usually three walls, and have to transform it entirely. So far the
favorite sets I’ve built are a cave, a slaughter house and a cyber set
that was made out of old metal shavings I found in a dumpster. Dumpster
diving is a very important part of set building! Once for a music video
I built a room that was supposed to look totally dilapidated, run down
and grimy. That one was really fun too!
EZ: You also perform. What would be your dream fetish performance?
S13: Hmm, I haven’t thought about this too much until now, but
generally I like shows with a story so I would want to do one of those.
Maybe the stage will start off dark. A spotlight will illuminate the
area above the stage and coming down from the sky will be a very evil
looking dominatrix carrying a naked slave girl in a cage. I of course
will get to be the slave girl, as it brings me great joy to be
manhandled by a beautiful woman! She’ll reach the ground first, but the
cage will be left suspended slightly above ground. She lets me out and
I try to escape, which of course I’m punished for doing. The dominatrix
gags me with white cloth and ties my body face forward to the outside
of the cage with shreds of cloth. My feet are balanced between the bars
so I can't fall. She spanks me, flogs me and runs her long sharp nails
up and down my body. All the while she swings the cage so that I’m
afraid of falling, and spins it around to humiliate me by showing the
audience my nude body. When she eventually lets me down, the show will
be finalized when she binds me to a cross and pours candle wax all over
my body. And depending on what country we’re in, she might have to rob
me of all purity by bending me over and fucking me with a strap-on
while she pulls my hair with her claw like hands.
EZ: Whew! Okay. Hmmm.. And what would your dream fetish ensemble consist of?
S13: Well, if I were to get to invent any outfit my heart desired, it
would be this: I’d want a collar that extended out from the base of my
neck, upwards, kind of in the way the evil queen in Snow White's is.
Except mine would be made of metal, and would be fashioned more in the
style of a spider web. Then the metal would come down from the collar
and follow the shape of my breasts kind of like a harness. In between
my breasts they would clamp together with a little spider clamp, which
would be jeweled in black crystal. I would be wearing rubber sleeves.
They would go from just above my elbow to my wrist. At my wrist would
be attached a metal spider’s web that hooked onto a ring around my
middle finger. I would have a rubber waist cincher and rubber hot
pants. The garters that came off of my rubber stockings would be little
metal spider webs, too, and hook onto a metal garter belt that I wore
on the outside of my hot pants. My shoes would have eight-inch stiletto
heels and a platform made of metal as well, and a steep arch. How is
that for fantastical?
EZ: Spectacular! Let me know when you find someone to make it for you.
I’d like to order something similar! Okay, I love your quote " I like
my men androgynous and my woman to look like whores :-) ." Care to
expand on that at all?
S13: Yes, this is true. I like boys who have a lot of feminine
qualities. I like their brows to be shaped, their nails manicured and
painted, their hair clean and teased. I like them to wear cologne.
Their outfit should be just as cute as mine. I want them to be in
makeup, eyeliner at the very least. And my women? I like their
appearance to reflect that their is no purity left in them. I want to
see ass cheeks, cleavage, legs, the whole package. I just think it’s so
hot when a woman can ignore the standard set by society to be shy and
demure and instead show off her raunchy side.
EZ: Care to share any trashy stories?
S13: Well, I guess I’ll tell you about a recent date I had. I was up in
LA for the weekend and this cute boy I’d met a while back e-mailed me
to let me know he was gong to be in town. So naturally I offered my
company and he accepted. He called that day to confirm our plans and I
met up with him later at a club in Hollywood. We were hanging out for a
while and another girl comes up to start talking to him. I had heard
rumor that she had slept with him before, so I asked her about it. She
said no, not yet, but she was going to that night! You can imagine my
surprise. She was a very hot hot girl, though, so I asked if I could
come along. She was very drunk and already missing her pants, so I was
not surprised when she said yes.
We all three got a ride back to her house from this other guy, who came
in to hang out when we got there. We were all socializing and drinking
wine when the other girl got impatient. She started to kiss him and I
unzipped his pants and put his cock in my mouth. She came down to join
me and we both traded off sucking his cock and biting his nipples and
kissing him. Then we started to make out, I think it was because we
were both going for his cock at the same time and our mouths slipped
and came together. So we were kissing each other and fingering each
other and he stood up and grabbed my hair and stuck his cock in my
mouth again, or maybe he put it in her mouth first, I don' t even know.
All the while he is drinking from a bottle of wine, and every so often
would offer us some, and pour it into our mouths and down our bodies.
It was so fucking hot. Oh my god.
At some point he was over the foreplay and fucked both of us till we
were sore and exhausted. We were all lounging on the couch and I
straddled him to kiss him. He picked me up and bent me over the couch
and fucked me again while my legs were spread and I was wearing nothing
but stilettos. When he told me he was going to come I pulled my body
away from him as he started to come on my ass. I sat on the couch and
he stuck his cock in my mouth and came some more and then pulled it out
and came all over my face and breasts. It was the best threesome I have
ever had. All the while this fourth person is sitting on the other end
of the couch just watching.
Later the girl and I took a taxi back to pick up her car, and I asked
her if she had had plans with him that evening too. She said yes, and
that he had been calling her all day too! What a little slut! I guess
he wanted to make absolute certain he didn't end up alone that night!
EZ: Do you have any current or upcoming projects that you'd like to tell us about?
S13: Well, I just teamed up with Forrest and Amelia from BlueBlood.net
and started my own site, Scar13.com. I’m really happy with how it came
out! If you’re a fan of spooky, trashy exhibitionist goth chix such as
myself, you should come check it out!
The only performance I have coming up is at the Fetish Ball in LA on
July 23, I’ll be modeling for a really talented designer named Tressa
who creates latex designs for her on-line store Fierce Couture. I am
super excited to get to be a part of her show!
EZ: Thank you, Scar! I’m sure our readers will enjoy your site!
[Written June 2005]
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