Editrix Abby  

Audra

Intellectual Latex Fetishist

ErosZine: You live in North Carolina? What's "the scene" like there?

Audra: Believe it or not, there actually is one, but it's quite fragmented and a hodgepodge of goths, punks, cosplay kids and fetishists who all mesh together at a private club once or twice a week. Alternative lifestyles are kept pretty underground, as this is a strong military, conservative state (I know, I know--shocked and surprised, aren't you? [laughs]) and most anyone who looks odd is frowned upon. However, it's a tightknit group of real people and those who don't meet up just for show or to be seen. They're genuine. I used to live in a much larger city and I stopped going out because the people there
started to lack substance. The scene is small here, but it's filled with good people.

EZ: You travel quite a bit, almost every weekend, yet you find time for a "personal life." You're getting married? Do tell!

A: I'm just nuts-in-the-head-bolt-missing crazy. We could leave it at that [long pause]. Alright, alright...I'm kidding (not really). I do travel a lot to meet new people and work with the best creative minds out there. I find great joy in the synergy created during intense shoots and watching amazing images materialize. However, I do devote one weekend a month minimum to just lounging around, watching movies, camping, motorcycling and being lazy with my sweetheart to keep  our relationship strong. Starting in June, that will become two weekends, as we are in the midst of planning our December wedding. We're getting married on a beach in the Dominican Republic with just our immediate families present. We plan to have a kink wedding celebration beforehand—no, I'm not telling details yet! [giggles]—and a party for our conservative friends and extended families afterwards. After all that, I plan to pick up with the modeling, traveling and writing more intensively again. I will also be taking classes towards my MBA while keeping my full-time accounting career. No, I'm not exaggerating. I told you I was nuts.

EZ: How did you become involved in the fetish world? As a model, first? Or as a fetishist?

A: I was a latex fetishist long before I was a fetish model. I remember as a young girl I loved to stretch balloons over my fingers, rub them all over my face and just smell them obsessively. I didn't care about blowing them up and batting them around like most kids did. I just wanted to rub and smell them as often as I could. My mother was a bit disturbed by this, but both my parents allowed me to develop without repressing any of my tendencies. I came to understand my latex fetish during high school and I strongly believe I am a lot healthier sexually by having been given the chance to explore my fetishes through introspection and experimentation.

EZ: What do you do by day? The job that requires you to wear a suit?

A: I'm the financial controller of a large firm, the numbers queen, the left-brained workaholic who sometimes sneaks latex panties underneath her business suit when no one's looking. Call me Bruce Wayne [laughs].

EZ: Your life does appear to be a series of dichotomies. Do you prefer extremes? Do you experience balance in your life?

A: I achieve balance in my life by indulging myself in extremes. I'm an overachieving, slightly obsessive-compulsive, left-brained workaholic who works effortlessly with numbers. I'm a manager who controls people and the flow of a company's money. Igraduated valedictorian of my high school class and summa cum laude from college having participated year-round in varsity sports and seven organizations. I served on pretty much every academic and athletic board in the process. I was in Big Brothers/Big Sisters. 

Now, if I just continued down this left path, I would probably give myself a cardiac seizure. Thus, I explore and create and allow my right brain to ooze into my left to slow it down, much what coolant does to an overactive engine. I speak two languages fluently, model, run, write, dance, teach, skydive, motorcycle and pretty much seek out any sort of adrenaline-rich or hormonal-producing activity to balance myself out. I reflect, think and act young, lose myself in instrospection, and allow myself to feel the highest highs and lowest lows. It works. I keep myself in check that way and never drift too far to one side or the other, and thus, am probably more chipper than most people.  

EZ: Your writing incorporates your many interests....fashion, fetish, goth, horror, erotica and the art of the word. How do you feel you express yourself through your writing?

A: I'm influenced by the existentialist authors: Camus, Sartre, Heidegger, Hesse; thus, that style of thinking tends to snake out in a lot of my essays. I write mostly in metaphor using visceral language, a blend of Hemingway and Jeannette Winterson's styles. I express how I feel at the time by attempting to capture an atmosphere, an emotion, a situation, with the intention of the reader feeling what I feel vicariously by relating and drawing upon similarities. Whew, that sounds wordy. I think you can see where I'm going. I tend to write about my everyday life in untraditional ways. I love sex, but enjoy the tease more. I prefer erotic to explicit. I'd rather lead you down a winding path and show you the flora and fauna rather than simply take you from point A to point B. To me it's all about the flight rather than the destination.

EZ: Thank you, Audra! And now that our readers are aware of your inspirations and influences, they can see a sample of your work.

[Written April 2005]