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Diary of a Mad Pornographer
David Aaron Clark's Kinky Smut
Starring Nyomi Marcela, Kimmy Kahn, Sin Nye Lang, Jade-Blue Eclipse, Lyla Lei, Brian Surewood and David Aaron Clark.
Directed by David Aaron Clark
Will Appeal To: Um, David Aaron Clark? And fans of Asian babes giving blowjobs.
Madness Pictures
2004
Wow. Okay. Well, this certainly isn’t the same old suck-lick-screw. The
closest it even comes to being classified standard porn is the last
scene, which begins with Clark and Surewood hangin’ with Lyla and Nyomi
at the Legends of Erotica awards in Vegas. Soon they’re in a tacky
hotel room, where all manner of sexual gymnastics ensue: girl/girl,
blowjobs, fingering and fucking, culminating with Surewood lacquering
the lovely ladies’ faces with his spooge. Thing is, the DVD consists of
almost two hours of other stuff to see this. Which, depending upon your
proclivities, is either a very good thing or a very bad one.
Personally, I haven’t enjoyed a porn flick in quite this way, um, ever.
You see, Mr. Clark is (or once was) a friend of mine. He read poetry at
my wedding. So seeing him get his cock sucked on camera was a bit
disconcerting, to say the very least. But in comparison to most porn
directors, the guy’s a fuckin’ Kubrick.
As a published novelist, albeit a pornographic one, Clark is the most
“literary” porn director in the biz. There’s more text involved in this
flick than you’ll ever see in porn, which makes perfect sense given the
title. But in any other film the diary aspect would no doubt be in
voiceover. Here you get to read Clark’s clever, sarcastic and somewhat
self-loathing prose. The music is about a thousand times better than
anything you’ll ever hear in smut, which may not be saying a lot. But I
was actually entertained by the music alone, at moments, which is
saying a lot! The effects, editing and angles are artsy as hell. But
what’s most unusual is that Clark pays way more attention to the
women’s faces than any other director. To use an old cliché, his
camera worships them. It’s refreshing to see more facial expressions
than just facials—and far fewer winking sphincters.
Okay, okay, the sex, I know! In scene one Nyomi licks milk out of a
bowl before pouring it all over herself. Dave gets his cock suck and I
gotta say, it was tough listening to him ooh and aah. But that’s cause
I know the guy. You’ll appreciate the unbridled emotion more
dispassionately, I’d assume. In scene two, Sin Nye Lang is a domme
bitch walking Lyla on a leash as Dave gets to live out yet another of
his fantasies: his wrists are bound, he’s forced to smoke pot and both
the babes blow him. Who says it’s all bad being a porno hound? Besides
Clark, that is.
More of Dave’s deliciously sick fantasies are realized in scene three,
when pixie-faced Kimmy pisses on his prick—three times! In between all
the whizzing, she sucks and whacks and sucks and whacks. Best quote:
“Gettin’ all nasty in the bathroom with me,” Clark gushes breathlessly.
Mmm... Scene four features Jade-Blue Eclipse performing her circus
contortionist routine at The Exotic Erotic Ball, which rocks (the
routine, not the Ball). Her muscles will make you gasp. She’s amazing.
Jump cut to tacky hotel room and the two are having a camera-to-cutie
conversation, which is both awkward and warm. They’re old friends. She
giggles and flashes her incredible smile. It almost feels like you’re
in the room with them. When she rolls a condom onto Clark’s cock with
her lips, you’ll wish you were! She’s wearing blue lipstick that just
makes it even more otherworldly. Oy, she’s hot. What can I say? She
sucks his sheathed dick and they fuck, but she finishes him off by
hand, and when he finally shoots his load, he sounds like he really,
really enjoyed it. I know I did!
Anyway, it was pretty tough work watching this objectively. I’m well
aware of this guy’s past, every job he’s had, all his private fetishes
and the bitterness he’s accumulated over the years. If this is the
culmination—or better yet, the start of something good, finally—it was
all worth the wait, Dave. For you and for us.
[Written Feb. 2005]
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